


There Won’t Be Fireworks

by Goldpeaches



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Community: hobbit_kink, Crying, First Time, M/M, Premature Ejaculation, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldpeaches/pseuds/Goldpeaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your first time should be with a person you love. Who can understand that better than Fíli and Kíli who are going to be married off for political reasons to dwarves they don't love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Won’t Be Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker, so please excuse any awkwardness...
> 
> Written for this (slightly altered) prompt at hobbit-kink:
> 
> Fili/Kili: Taking each others virginities  
> Fili and Kili are both going to be married off for political reasons to people they don't love and can't even stand to be around. They have a secret relationship and they've never had sex (though they've fooled around a little) and they decide even if they're going to be married off they'll have each other and carry on in secret affairs.  
> Whether Thorin finds out, how far it goes, if their respective spouses find out, that's up to filler.  
> BONUS: One of the boys' spouses is abusive
> 
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/4373.html?thread=9712405t9712405

“Where is your brother?”

Fíli gladly tears his attention away from the most boring conversation of his life to look around the crowded dining hall. Pretty much all the dwarf lords are present, he can spot a few women as well, but as always, they are a minority. 

“Dáin is looking for him,” Thorin continues and Fíli tries hard to keep the grimace off his face. Dáin is old, very old and the thought of him marrying his little brother is wrong on so many levels and doesn’t even make much sense politically. But it has been decided, just as Fíli’s fate to marry Thovor, son of Thomor, a Firebeard from the West. Their marriage does make sense, politically, but unfortunately Thovor is as dull as they come, has a reputation for being violent and likes to hear himself talk. He also has sauce smeared in his moustache since dinner. 

“Would you please excuse me for just a minute?” Fíli touches Thovor’s arm in an apologetic gesture as he rises from his chair. Thovor grabs his wrist hard enough to hurt and pulls Fíli close.

“Don’t be long. You know that I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

 _No, I don’t know that, we only met today,_ Fíli wishes he could say, but it wouldn’t be wise, so he just carefully twists his wrist out of Thovor’s grasp and smiles as sweetly as he can. 

“Of course not.” After taking a deep, shaky breath he turns to Thorin. “I think I’ll be able to find him quickly.” 

“Good.” He nods his approval.

“I may need some time to talk him into joining us again, though.”

Thorin doesn’t say anything until they reach the door. 

“I know this is not what you boys expected, and…”

“Please,” Fíli interrupts as respectfully as possible. “I know that it is my job to do what is best for the kingdom. So does Kíli. He’s just…” Angry? Scared?

“I know.” Thorin gives him a smile and there is pride in his eyes. He knows what he asks of his nephews is cruel and unfair, but necessary to keep alliances alive and relationships throughout Middle Earth stable. He places a hand on Fíli’s shoulder. “Go find him. Take your time. I will keep Thovor engaged.”

Fíli mutters a “Thanks” and leaves. Once he is outside the dining room he pauses and thinks. Kíli would not hide in his room, because that’s where anyone would come looking first. He wouldn’t go as far as the mines, because he knows that he has to be found at some point. The stables, then, Fíli decides.

 

“Kí?” Fíli calls softly, as he opens the stable door. “It’s me.”

There is a moment of silence, almost long enough for Fíli to think that he was wrong, when Kíli answers him in a small voice.

“I’m over here.”

Fíli follows the voice and finds Kíli unknotting his pony’s mane. He looks as miserable as Fíli feels.

“Hey,” Fíli says softly. “What are you doing?”

“Getting her ready,” Kíli replies without looking up, “for the journey.”

“That’s tomorrow. Let’s not think about that now.” Tomorrow, after the wedding, Kíli would travel to the Iron Hills with Daín, while Fíli would make his way in the opposite direction, back to the Blue Mountains, likely to never see his brother again and he can’t bear that thought. It makes him sick.

“What else is there to think about?” Kíli spits out, and tears at a knot hard enough to make his pony snort and stomp her hoof. 

“We still have a little time together,” Fíli begins, but is cut off with a single, dark look from his brother.

“Oh yeah? Dáin has my evening planned out for me. The plan doesn’t involve you.” There is a long pause in which Kíli loses the battle with himself. A tear rolls down his cheek, when he can’t keep the angry façade up any longer. “He wants to consummate our marriage tonight.”  
Fíli’s chest tightens, it almost becomes hard to breathe. He wants to argue that the wedding isn’t until tomorrow, that there is nothing to consummate tonight, but that is hardly the point.

“Everybody else gets to be with someone they love for their first time and all I get is this fat, old pervert. And what about you? Thovor? Did you hear what people say about him? He can’t be the one to touch you for the first time!”

Fíli closes his eyes. Of course he heard the rumours about Thovor’s angry side. Some of them seem outrageous and exaggerated, but others not so much. Fíli can believe some of them, especially after feeling Thovor’s iron grip on his wrist just minutes ago.

“You’re right, but I doubt that we can both find someone we truly love within the next ten minutes and take them to bed.” Fíli wraps his arms around his middle protectively. _I wish we would have died during the battle, _he thinks, but doesn’t dare to say it out loud. It might give Kíli ideas.__

__There is a moment of silence between them, before Kíli mutters: “I do, truly, love _you_.”_ _

__Fíli ducks under the pony’s neck and comes up on the other side, next to Kíli._ _

__“Will you stop tugging on that poor pony for one second?” He gently pushes his brother away from the animal. “You can’t just say something like that and pretend like it’s not changing everything.”_ _

__“Why does it change anything? It’s not news. You’re my brother, stupid, of course I love you.”_ _

__There are tears trembling on Kíli’s dark lashes and Fíli wants to say that he loves him as well, more than anything, but he can’t. He just can’t make the words come out of his mouth._ _

__He has always been the strong one, the calm, cool, reasonable one, but he can’t be strong and calm when he sees his brother in pain. He closes the distance between them, throwing himself into his brother’s arms. He buries his face in Kíli’s shirt and allows himself to be weak just this once and sobs against his brother’s chest. They stay like this for a long time, until Fíli’s breath slows and the rushing in his ears calms enough for him to hear Kíli’s heartbeat._ _

__“I love you too,” Fíli finally manages to whisper against Kíli’s neck and it is painful to hear his own voice so weak and timid. “But we are brothers. We can’t be with each other like that.”_ _

__“Says who?” Kíli lets go of Fíli and takes a step back. There is anger bubbling up behind the sorrow. “The same people who think it is okay to sell us like sheep? Just so the alliances stay strong? It is not okay and if they are wrong about this rule they could be wrong about other things as well.”_ _

__“You can’t be with someone from your own family. That rule doesn’t only apply to dwarves.”_ _

__“Then what if I ask you, no, beg you to do it. For me? Please, Fíli, please don’t let Dáin be the first to claim my body. Please let me be yours first so that I can never be fully his.”_ _

__Fíli closes his stinging eyes again. The thought of Thovor being his first lover is almost unbearable and more than anything he wishes Kíli could be the one to share the experience with._ _

__“And what would they do if they find out? Banish us? Lock us away? Still better than spending the rest of our lives with them,” Kíli continues and Fíli nods slowly. Taking his brother, his best friend, away from him is already the worst punishment anyone could lay on him, but he would always have the memory of this last shared moment._ _

__“You’re right. And when you think about it later, can you leave out that I hesitated?”_ _

__The beginning of a smile is tugging on Kíli’s lips._ _

__“No,” he says, brushing his fingers over Fíli’s cheek, “but only because I love that you worry about everything.”_ _

__Fíli manages a sad half-smile himself._ _

__“Follow me,” he says, “and grab the leather oil, we’ll need it.”_ _

__The way Kíli blushes when he fetches the small wooden jar tells Fíli that his bother may be lacking any first-hand experience, but is not entirely naïve when it comes to sex._ _

__There is a ladder that leads from the stable to the hayloft above. It is still more than halfway filled with soft and fragrant hay that reminds him of the summers they spent as children lying on their backs in the fields, when they were tired from their adventures._ _

__They climb through the hatch and sit with each other, enjoying the silence that is only interrupted by an occasional sniffle and the scurrying of mice._ _

__“How long do you think we have until they come looking for us?”_ _

__“I don’t know. Not too…” Before Fíli can finish the sentence, Kíli reaches out and pulls on his collar to bring him closer. It’s a simple press of lips at first, surprisingly gentle, strange and familiar, exciting and comfortable all at the same time. Fíli brushes his tongue over Kíli’s lips and he parts them in response._ _

__He loses himself in the kiss, one hand finds the back of Kíli’s head, tangling into the dark stands, the other arm slips around his brother’s waist. Kíli’s hand is are pressed flat against Fíli's chest, his thumb stroking along the collarbone, before they slide slowly up, trembling a little, but coming to rest gently cupping his face._ _

__After a while Fíli breaks the kiss, panting shallowly. He doesn’t even notice that he is crying again, until Kíli wipes the wetness on his cheeks away with his thumb._ _

__“Are you sure?”, he asks, his red-rimmed eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Fíli just can’t wrap his head around the fact that he will never see his brother again._ _

__“Yeah,” he replies and tilts his head slightly to kiss the palm of Kíli’s hand and takes hold of Kíli’s tunic and pulls it over his head, followed by his own. They kick off their boots and unlace their trousers. Clothes are tossed aside hastily and some of them fall though the hatch and land on the stable floor. Neither of them cares, for they are so focussed on each other._ _

__Fíli has seen his brother naked hundreds of times, touched him as well, always so thankful that they both survived the battle, and still it is different today. Today the scars on his body, where his torso has been sliced open by the claws of a warg and then been stitched back together, make him think that they should have died in battle as brave warriors. But they survived the battle, they both recovered after months of bedrest and infection and sickness and unbearable pain. They pulled through only to become pretty little trophies to dwarf lords who flex their muscles and shout of war if they don’t get their way._ _

__He pushes Kíli into the hay softly and leans over him. He captures his mouth again for another long, longing kiss and then moves down. He licks at the stubble on Kíli’s neck and gently nips at the spot where he can feel his pulse pounding beneath his mouth. He notices that his heartbeat speeds up, when he moves his hand over the raised, jagged scars on his brother’s chest and stomach._ _

__He covers Kíli’s skin with fluttering kisses and light touches until he can feel him relax underneath his hands, shift and untangle his legs, from their protective, curled-up position. Without ever letting his lips and hands break contact Fíli crawls on top of Kíli, straddling him, pressing their groins and their hard cocks together. He grinds into the body below him and the low sounds that come from Kíli tell him that he must be doing something right. He only has a general idea of what he is supposed to do, but as long as no one is complaining he decides to go with it and reaches for the oil. He coats his fingers generously and takes a calming breath before reaching around. The first finger goes in easily. He has done this before, but only in the privacy of his own room, never in front of anyone, but Kíli watching him, with flushed cheeks, big eyes and his bottom lip caught between his teeth is encouraging._ _

__“Can I… uhm… touch you?” Kíli asks in a bashful voice that Fíli has never heard from him before._ _

__“Yes. Yes, please,” he replies breathless and lets his eyes fall shut, when Kíli’s hand wraps around his cock and gives it a shy little stroke. “Yeah, that’s good.”_ _

__While Kíli grows more confident, Fíli adds a second finger, moves them in and out until it feels comfortable and he is ready for more. He removes his hand and spreads the rest of the oil left on his fingers onto Kíli’s cock. He keeps sliding his hand up and down the shaft a little longer than necessary, enjoying the way his brother squirms and gasps and digs his fingers into Fíli’s thighs._ _

__“Please.”_ _

__Fíli inches his body up a bit to manoeuvre himself in the right position. He brings their lips together in another breathless kiss and slowly sinks onto Kíli’s cock. The stretch is painful and sweet all at once. He sighs and rocks his hips, once, twice, making his brother whimper._ _

__“No, wait…” Kíli presses one hand against Fíli’s chest and for a second Fíli thinks that his brother is in pain. His face is flushed, scrunched up and he is panting heavily through clenched teeth. “Don’t move. I can’t… I…”_ _

__Fíli stays still, but Kíli is aching up, thrusting into him one more time before he tenses and is pushed over the edge with a long, deep groan against Fíli’s lips. There is an expression of beautiful bliss on his face, but only for a moment. It is wiped away by a look of true mortification._ _

__“Oh, no! Fíli I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it would be so…”_ _

__“Intense?” Fíli finishes for him. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s supposed to happen.”_ _

__“But not so quickly!” He covers his face with his hands, his breath hitching. “I’m so sorry. I ruined everything.”_ _

__“It’s fine.” Fíli gently pries Kíli’s hand away from his face. “Look at me. Nothing is ruined.” He eases himself off his brother and settles between his legs. “We can still keep going if you want to.”_ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“Just relax,” Fíli replies and kisses Kíli’s stomach. He coats his fingers with grease again and lightly rubs little circles against Kíli’s hole, gently pushing against the entrance until he can work the fingertip in carefully. The response is a surprised little gasp from Kíli and a twitch of his cock._ _

__Fíli turns his head and presses another quick kiss to Kíli’s knee and takes his time preparing him. He loves how Kíli responds to all the things he does - a sharp intake of breath here, a little “nngh” there and he wishes that he had a lifetime to explore this body. He doesn’t. He doesn’t even have another hour and the thought makes him want to curl up and cry. He pulls himself together and gently replaces his fingers with his cock. It slides in with only little resistance and the feeling is unlike anything he has ever felt before. Kíli is warm and tight around him, he is moving and shifting and Fíli is worried that he won’t last more than a few thrusts himself._ _

__“You look so sad.” Kíli observes, while Fíli stays still, allowing them both time to adjust. He runs his fingers through Fíli’s hair. “We should run away together.”_ _

__“We can’t. It would start a war.”_ _

__Fíli watches the wheels in Kíli’s head turn and begins to move his hips, slowly, to derail his train of thought before…_ _

__“Then we should die together. In an accident.”_ _

__Fíli breathes out slowly. That was the one thing he wanted to avoid, because it is a good plan, actually. If they made it look like an accident… but no, they can’t just take the easy way out and leave Thorin without heirs._ _

__“Kíli,” he says softly and before he can explain, his brother catches him in a crushing hug, arms and legs wrapped tightly around him._ _

__“Please don’t leave me,” he sobs, clutching his brother desperately. “Please don’t go away, I love you so much. You’re my big brother, you’re always there for me, how can I be without you? We could talk to Thorin, we could…”_ _

__“Shhh.” Fíli soothes, kissing Kíli’s mouth, his neck, his jaw. “It’s going to be okay.” It breaks his heart to lie to his brother. Tears fall from his eyes onto Kíli’s face. “Let us just have this moment. This memory.”_ _

__Fíli keeps rocking his hips back and forth. His hand wraps around Kíli’s cock, stroking up and down. In the end there are no fireworks, it’s not mind blowing or life changing, it’s a wave that rolls over him almost drowning him until he remembers to breathe again and collapses next to Kíli in the hay._ _

__They clean each other up as best as they can and get dressed in silence. There is nothing more to say. A shirt, a pair of trousers and two boots have fallen down from the hayloft into the stable and when they climb down the ladder they find their clothes neatly folded, waiting for them._ _

__“Someone was here,” Fíli whispers eyes wide with the shock of this discovery. He hurriedly puts his trousers back on._ _

__“I don’t think they heard us. They would’ve said something,” Kíli replies and his hands are shaking as he tries to lace up his shirt._ _

__“Let’s hope so.” Fíli brushes his fingers through his hair to get at least some of the hay out. They make their way to the door and when they step outside, they see him. Thorin, just sitting on an upturned bucket with his pipe, waiting._ _

__With his heart is in his throat and his ears rushing Fíli hardly notices that his brother takes his hand. Thorin gets up from his seat when he notices them and approaches slowly. Fíli can feel himself shrinking under his gaze and already scrunches up his face for the punch he expects as immediate punishment for his foolishness. It doesn’t come, though. Instead Thorin pulls them both close and engulfs them in a tight hug._ _


End file.
